These pretzels are making me thirsty

8/23/13

Yesterday, as I was working on my computer, sitting in the sweltering August Haiti heat, thinking of all the abnormally entertaining aspects of my life here, I decided I needed a catch phrase to sum up my state of mind.  For some reason, the phrase that kept on coming to mind was ‘These pretzels are making me thirsty.’  I have no clue why, but it just seemed to fit.  

Now, I recognize that in my last post, I may have seemed a little bit mellow dramatic about the internet situation.  As I am writing this, I have yet to post anything, as we still do not have internet (I’ve been assured since Wednesday that it will be available the next day . . . I’m not holding my breath), so it will most likely appear that my feelings on the subject are somewhat unstable.  The truth is, as I’ve gone several days without it, it becomes less and less difficult to deal with. 

I thought I’d take a moment to tell you all a little bit about my daily life here.  The day starts off with random, inconsistent crowing of the various jungle roosters.  Once I’ve made the decision that it is a reasonable hour to get up, I grab my pocket mirror and other essentials for the bathroom, with the hopes that it will not be occupied (there are no mirrors in the bathrooms, and there are only two bathrooms for approximately ten people).  We have a nice communal breakfast in the kitchen, and then off to clinic.

Now . . . clinic has it’s ups and downs.  I’ll admit there have been some sad and frustrating situations.  There was the PPROMer; . . . the lady who I attempted to do a LEEP on earlier this week (when we could not get the bovie pad to work, she took it as a sign that she should not have her lesion taken care of . . . I must have spent twenty minutes trying to convince her otherwise, but she declined . . . .something to do with voodoo or what not); and the 22 year old who was just diagnosed with HIV and also had zoster (I was the first physician she saw after her lab results came back). 

Enough with the Debbie Downer . . . as there are also some very amusing things that occur on a regular basis. First of all . . . chickens frequent the clinic.  I don’t think a single day has gone by where I have not seen a chicken running through the waiting room.  The patients are also very pushy . . . sometimes I feel like I’m surrounded by a bunch of New Yorkers on the subway during rush hour.  When I was evaluating a bartholin’s cyst the other day, the patient kept on trying to show it to me while I was performing her exam (very annoying, but I could not help but laugh to myself as it was happening). 

My interpreter has no clue how to pronounce my name, so she often introduces me as what sounds like Dokte Vroom de Vroom (not as good as the Dr. Dander Her that a patient wrote on her records during my days as a resident, but still, amusing).  If only that was the only problem . . . as she does not understand the concept of a hysterectomy, or a cyst, or really understand any medical phrases, as when people are not actively menstruating, she tells me they are in menopause.  These pretzels are making me thirsty.

For those of you who worked with me in residency . . . working her has allowed me to be more unlike an Oklahoma girl than I was in residency (Kayla, I’m sure you don’t’ think that’s possible . . . I assure you it is).  I only wear comfy sweat proof clothes during the day . . . I only wash my hair once or twice a week . . . I didn’t bring a stitch of makeup with me . . . no plucking of the eyebrows.  I assure you I continue to be hygienic, but the only time I look in the mirror is to put my contacts in.  It’s nice not worrying about those things!

So . . . end of week two of my screening experiment.  Sixty-one patients have been screened.  Five LEEPs have been performed.  Carinne has yet to have any training.  Granted she comes on Monday, I only have five full weeks to ensure that she is competent to continue the screening and perform a LEEP.  [Given my inability to stay in the country for more than three months at a time, I will be going back to St. Louis for a couple weeks in October, and then return to help with the multiple medical teams coming to the area in October and November.  It is my hope that upon my return, the screening will be continued while I am gone in October].  These pretzels are making me thirsty indeed!!