Friday, October 4, 2013

A final night at the round table


10/3/2013

[Disclosure . . . the table at OSAPO is not round, it’s long and rectangular.]
I’m currently sitting in the airport, enduring the beginnings of a VERY long day of travel.  I’ve been in Haiti for two months . . . it’s time for a little vacation (and by vacation, I mean 2 weeks in the great city of St. Louis . . . more importantly 2 weeks of experiencing the post season for the greatest team in baseball!).  On the long ride from OSAPO to the airport, I couldn’t help but smile as I reminisced over the way I spent the previous day . . .

I was finally able to have another day in the OR.  I don’t think words can express how stressful operating here actually is.  [Don’t get me wrong . . . I LOVE being a surgeon, but your talking about a completely different beast when you are in a third world country.]  To start off with . . . there really is no set schedule.  When the anesthesiologist says she will be there at seven, she really means nine, which mean your day does not start until 9:30 or 10:00.  Even though we attempt to keep a schedule of patients, they are unpredictable as to when they will actually show up.  There are some days where no one will come, and some days where many will come and you need to send them away.  Then, there is getting the equipment prepared.  Every sterilized tray is like a piƱata of surgical instruments . . . you never know if you will have the instruments you actually need . . . and if you don’t, then you are scrambling to find the essential instruments you actually need, with the patient asleep on the table.  It is literally impossible to be efficient and conserve resources.  [Oh, and don’t get me started on the lack of sterile technique of everyone else in the OR, you not only have to focus on your actions, but you are also manning everyone else.]  Once you actually get to the actual operation, you are exhausted just from making sure everything is in its place. 

Last week, when I was operating on my own, I was reminded just how much I enjoyed it (both the challenges and success of knowing you did everything according to the books, and that you truly did help someone).  Yesterday, I did a hysterectomy with the assistance of one of the surgeons in Haiti, who prides himself in his speed.  I don’t want to go into too much detail, but I realized why he is so speedy yesterday.  Those steps of Identifying the ureters, double ligating all the serious vascular pedicles, assurance of a dry field, completely out the door.  I realize that I’m just out of residency, and he has been a surgeon for many years . . . so I did my best to be respectful, yet challenge things I didn’t feel appropriate.  It could have gone more smoothly.  [Janna, if you are reading this, I did not say it before, I have so much respect for everything you did the first time we came down here.  It’s a different game when you are the one in charge.]

So . . . back to my day . . . there were a couple of minor cases I had scheduled for the afternoon, but unfortunately the anesthesiologist had to leave early, and alas they were canceled.  As I was going through my ‘office,’ making sure everything was in place, Carine said there was another patient, who had just been admitted who I needed to see.  70 year old female, vaginal bleeding, hemoglobin of 7.  Carine told me she had gone to see another doctor, but they wanted me to see her, too.  My response was, not until the other physician actually does a pelvic exam, (she assured me that he did, but I’m somewhat skeptical).  [Now, just a little clarification . . . the frustration that I have with no one doing pelvic exams here is a much different type of frustration than that which I had in residency, when you would get called in the middle of the night to go perform an emergent pelvic exam on someone with vaginitis.  This roots deeper than the frustration with pure laziness of others.  At least in residency, people made sure that patients received the proper care necessary.  Here . . . when I leave . . . there is no one else to do it.  If people don’t start performing much indicated exams, no one will, and significant pathologies will continue to go undiagnosed.]  This poor old lady appeared to have dementia . . . luckily did not appear to be in too much pain.  Speculum exam:  big fungating tumor originating from the cervix.  Bimanual exam:  IIIB (at least) cervical cancer.  Just a little shout out to the powers that be . . . I get it . . . I’m still passionate about my work here . . . I don’t want any more reminders. 

So . . . up to this point, I’m sure you are wondering, what about this day made me smile . . . I’m getting to it.  My nightly schedule here is pretty much the same . . . work out, shower, eat dinner and visit with the OSAPO nurses/staff (who, for the most part are female).  It is always very entertaining for all . . . it feels so good to laugh with others.  Last night, one of the nurses (Andre . . . someone who I’ve really enjoyed working with . . . she is the one who helped me make my bat free room in the office) was asking me what my plans were in St. Louis.  I mentioned going running with my dad.  Her response:
            ‘You will not be able to run.’
            ‘And why is that?’
            ‘Because you are too fat.’
            I started laughing, ‘Andre, I am the same size now as I was when I got here.’
            ‘No, your butt and legs has become too fat.’  By this time, some of the other girls were engaged in our little conversation. 
            I chuckled even more, ‘Nope . . . they’ve always been this big, it’s just the way I am.’
            One of the other girls needed to translate this for her . . . her response with big wide eyes and a big smile on her face, ‘Ooih.’
            ‘You know, it’s not nice to call people fat.’
            ‘But I love your big fat butt.  It dances every time you walk.  I find it very sexy.’
            At this point in time, I was almost crying, I was laughing so hard.
            She continued, ‘I want your butt.  Mind, I do not like so much.’
            ‘Well, thank you.  Now, I think it’s time for bed.’

To really get (even more so) the comedy of this conversation, I’ll provide a little background information (and don’t worry, I’m not going to dive into the whole body image, insecurities, etc . . . I am by no means skinny or completely satisfied with how I look, but what woman is).  For those of you who don’t know me, I am very much pear shaped, and yes, I have a ba donka donk and thighs.  I am also very athletic, and it seems that my butt and thighs are what tend to bulk up the most.  I have ALWAYS had a complex about my lower half, but have come to find it more a topic of humor than anything else.  When I was getting measured for clothes in Vietnam, when measuring my thighs, one of the woman said, ‘hoooooaaaaa,’ in a deep voice as she widened her eyes.  Also, Andre has many a nights commented on my big butt (one night, she asked why my waist was so small, and my butt so big).  She is also one of the most lively people I’ve met . . . between her persona, the cultural differences, the literal translations and my apple bottom complex . . . I don’t think I could have engaged in a more entertaining conversation.

Now . . . time for me to relax.  For the first time in two months, I actually have goose bumps (AC in the airport).  Time to allow all my frustrations and unpleasant experiences dissolve.  Time to keep the happy memories on the surface.  Time to bring the Cardinals to the World Series!!!

[For anyone in St. Louis, you should go to Sybergs (Dorsett) tomorrow night . . . A fabulous band will be performing . . . and I’ll be there, too, hopefully celebrating after the Cards game].

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