I'm back!!

October 26, 13

Yes folks, I’m back in Haiti . . . and what a different experience this has already been.  I’ve actually been in the country for about a week, but I have been so busy I have not had time to write.  The pure exhaustion I am experiencing may make it difficult for me to keep of this façade that I am actually capable of writing!!

About a year ago, in my second trip to Haiti, I jointed a team (whom I had never met) from the east coast, in attempts to get a little more experience being in the country prior to making this long-term journey.  For some reason, they liked me enough to request that I join them for two weeks the next year . . . so here I am.

You may ask, how is this different from what I had been doing? . . . being here with a team means having ten or so people who are probably more eager than myself to really get the work completed, 24/7 anesthesia coverage, days starting at seven am instead of 9 am . . . comparing to my recent experience, it is night and day.  This past week, we’ve done a total of 5 hysterectomies (4 abdominal and 1 vaginal), in addition to many other hernia repairs, and other minor procedures. 

I also went up to OSAPO for a day to cram as many LEEPs as possible, which unfortunately only meant about six (I pray that the twenty or so that needed the procedure will come at some point this next month).  Being there made me realize how much of a change I really needed.  Even though I’m here, MISSING THE WORLD SERRIES, I feel truly blessed that I have such a wonderful group of people to be working with. 

Being back at OSAPO brought up all of the BS and frustrations that I had left behind.  When I started this whole thing, I was so optimistic that I myself, a newly graduated gyn resident without any public health training, could successfully start a cervical cancer screening and treatment clinic in Haiti.  I really hate to admit this, but I am fearful that this whole setup will fail. 

Now, I realize my wording sounds very negative, but I think it’s healthy for me to admit my fears . . . but after this week, I have also realized that I am looking at this the wrong way.  In this situation, there is no such thing as failure.   Just preventing one person from dying a cervical cancer should be considered a success. 

I’ve been trying to think of some way to ensure that screening efforts will continue once I’m gone, but it’s not all up to me.  I’m only one person, and there is only so much I can do.  Over the last few months, I felt myself slowly loosing faith in people (I need to emphasize that there were definitely some phenomenal people at OSAPO, and if it weren’t for them, it would have been difficult for me to have the stamina to keep going).  Being with these people for just a week has rejuvenated my spirit and faith in humanity.

So . . . I’m going to take all of my negative thoughts away; I will continue working my big butt off for the next week; I will continue to resurrect my stamina and faith; I will continue listening to every cards game (as our wifi connection is not strong enough to stream), praying that the internet does not go out; and I will pray that I will at least screen as many people as possible in my time remaining at OSAPO.  I will say au revoir for now (and will hope that it will be less than a week before I have time to blog agai